Ask dapperQ: Androgynous (NOT Masculine) Wedding Attire?

This is our first post in dapperQ’s Wedding Week, where we feature dapper weddings and answer all of your burning wedding questions.

A reader asks:

“While I applaud dapperQ for breaking gender binary wedding expectations (for example, women wear dresses, men wear suits), I find the actual wedding attire that you feature to be very gender binary (for example, feminine presenting people wear dresses, masculine presenting people wear suits.) I gather these traditional styles work for many of your readers. But, I’m planning my wedding and cannot seem to find much about androgynous wedding attire. I definitely do NOT wear dresses, high heels, long hair, and makeup. However, I do NOT dress like, nor do I want to be mistaken for, your average American cis-male. I am not going to wear ties, suspenders, boxy suits, and cummerbunds. My style is more androgynous or “tomboy.” Do you have any suggestions? I want to look as impeccable as my femme partner!”

Providing individualized wedding attire recommendations is a bit challenging without knowing the general theme of the wedding (colors, setting, flowers, etc.), the level of formality (black-tie, casual, etc.), location (outdoor, indoor, beach, ballroom, city, country, etc.), season (winter, summer, etc.), and your personal style (minimalist androgyny, street goth androgyny, etc.) But, I want to let you know that I do hear your concerns and will do my best to at least get you thinking outside the binary box. Note that some of the models have long hair and/or are wearing heels and makeup; but you can definitely rock these looks sans makeup with shorter hair and flat shoes.

Go Slim, Not Boxy

*Menswear suits can tend to look boxy, especially classic American suits. While European cuts are slimmer, *menswear jackets are made to CYA (cover your a**), which can make short legs look even shorter, leading to that boxy look you’re trying to avoid. Try slim cut suits paired with *womenswear jackets, which are cut to hit the waist to give the illusion of a longer, slimmer, rather than boxy, leg.

Androgynous Tuxedo CroppedVia ASOS Fashion Finder

Androgynous Wedding Attire Social Media 2Via Indigo Jones

shop-women-fall13Image via Tumblr

zaraImage via Zara

Fashion Women In TuxedosImage via Dispatch

Go Slouchy/Relaxed, Not Boxy

If you’re not into slim fit, try a slouchy fit. Now, what’s the difference between boxy and slouchy? Depends on who you ask. Some bloggers see slouchy and boxy as one in the same and discourage both. I disagree. When I think of boxy, this is what comes to mind:

Boxy SuitVia GQ

When I think of slouchy, I think “relaxed” and this is what comes to mind:


Androgynous Wedding Attire Slouchy SuitVia Pinterest

Androgynous Wedding AttireVia The Evolving Closet

White Slouchy SuitVia

Now Tie It All Together with Color, Bling, Florals, Lace, and Metallics

What is so exciting right now about wedding attire is that there has been a trend towards more casual and creative styles. Gone are the days where we are expected to rock silk cummerbunds. Think about all of the logistics I mentioned above (theme, location, season, venue, etc.) and add colors and textures accordingly:

Androgynous Wedding Attire ColorNavy blue, cream, and burgundy red break up the black and white cater-waiter look. Via Lyst

Androgynous Summer Wedding AttireLightweight linen is perfect for a casual summer wedding. Via Tumblr

Androgynous Wedding Attire Bling 2Androgynous model Harmony Boucher and her wife blew minds when they wed in high fashion street goth attire. Add a little something unexpected, like these tuxedo sequined leggings,  and you too can break the mold. Via French Connection

Metallic BlazerMetallic bling blazer? Check! Slim cut pants? Check! Oxford shoes? Check! But, the icing on the cake: a tie-neck blouse for those who are not down with traditional neckties and bow-ties. Via Neiman Marcus

Sequins Tux 2

Perfect for a more formal wedding. Via A and O

Lace sloucyLace and pearls add a bit of “classic” wedding style. The slouchy cut adds a bit of androgyny. Via Neiman Marcus

joseph-white-metallic-leathertrimmed-twill-blazer-product-2-7837617-296512238Your can pair this metallic leather trimmed jacket with almost every color and it can be styled masculine, feminine, and everywhere in between. Via Lyst

Silk Velvet SuitAdd a little color POP! in rich velvet for a wedding suit jacket that will turn as many heads as any femme ensemble. Image via Dsquared2

Androgynous Wedding Attire FloralsRebelling against the gender binary? Then pair masculine touches with florals. Via

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  • Thank you! I too have been having the hardest time finding ideas for a similar type androgynous style. My difference is I wear minimal makeup, but do wear some, long hair, never a dress or skirt, rarely heels (if only a short time). My wedding is somewhat casual at an art center with food trucks, in the spring. But I most definitely want to stand out from the wedding party and guests.

  • Good-looking outfits. Came here via a Google search for androgynous wedding outfits. I’m a little disappointed, though, that every single one of these is a jacket & pants.

  • I was really hoping to see something that explored silhouettes that are not part of the typical dichotomy for gendered weddings (jacket w/ pants/dress). No tunics or jumpsuits or anything that shows a hint of skin? This feels very masculine. Maybe a chic harem pant?

  • If anyone is looking for an androgynous (but not masc.) woman’s suit, I can totally help you out. I am an expert in woman’t fit and matching their style to their personality. Basically just fitting a suit to look best on YOUR body. Always accentuating your best features whether you are cis or trans.

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