This is our first post in dapperQ’s Wedding Week, where we feature dapper weddings and answer all of your burning wedding questions.
A reader asks:
“While I applaud dapperQ for breaking gender binary wedding expectations (for example, women wear dresses, men wear suits), I find the actual wedding attire that you feature to be very gender binary (for example, feminine presenting people wear dresses, masculine presenting people wear suits.) I gather these traditional styles work for many of your readers. But, I’m planning my wedding and cannot seem to find much about androgynous wedding attire. I definitely do NOT wear dresses, high heels, long hair, and makeup. However, I do NOT dress like, nor do I want to be mistaken for, your average American cis-male. I am not going to wear ties, suspenders, boxy suits, and cummerbunds. My style is more androgynous or “tomboy.” Do you have any suggestions? I want to look as impeccable as my femme partner!”
Providing individualized wedding attire recommendations is a bit challenging without knowing the general theme of the wedding (colors, setting, flowers, etc.), the level of formality (black-tie, casual, etc.), location (outdoor, indoor, beach, ballroom, city, country, etc.), season (winter, summer, etc.), and your personal style (minimalist androgyny, street goth androgyny, etc.) But, I want to let you know that I do hear your concerns and will do my best to at least get you thinking outside the binary box. Note that some of the models have long hair and/or are wearing heels and makeup; but you can definitely rock these looks sans makeup with shorter hair and flat shoes.
Go Slim, Not Boxy
*Menswear suits can tend to look boxy, especially classic American suits. While European cuts are slimmer, *menswear jackets are made to CYA (cover your a**), which can make short legs look even shorter, leading to that boxy look you’re trying to avoid. Try slim cut suits paired with *womenswear jackets, which are cut to hit the waist to give the illusion of a longer, slimmer, rather than boxy, leg.
Via Indigo Jones
Image via Zara
Image via Dispatch
Go Slouchy/Relaxed, Not Boxy
If you’re not into slim fit, try a slouchy fit. Now, what’s the difference between boxy and slouchy? Depends on who you ask. Some bloggers see slouchy and boxy as one in the same and discourage both. I disagree. When I think of boxy, this is what comes to mind:
When I think of slouchy, I think “relaxed” and this is what comes to mind:
Now Tie It All Together with Color, Bling, Florals, Lace, and Metallics
What is so exciting right now about wedding attire is that there has been a trend towards more casual and creative styles. Gone are the days where we are expected to rock silk cummerbunds. Think about all of the logistics I mentioned above (theme, location, season, venue, etc.) and add colors and textures accordingly:
Navy blue, cream, and burgundy red break up the black and white cater-waiter look. Via Lyst
Lightweight linen is perfect for a casual summer wedding. Via Tumblr
Androgynous model Harmony Boucher and her wife blew minds when they wed in high fashion street goth attire. Add a little something unexpected, like these tuxedo sequined leggings, and you too can break the mold. Via French Connection
Metallic bling blazer? Check! Slim cut pants? Check! Oxford shoes? Check! But, the icing on the cake: a tie-neck blouse for those who are not down with traditional neckties and bow-ties. Via Neiman Marcus
Perfect for a more formal wedding. Via A and O
Lace and pearls add a bit of “classic” wedding style. The slouchy cut adds a bit of androgyny. Via Neiman Marcus
Your can pair this metallic leather trimmed jacket with almost every color and it can be styled masculine, feminine, and everywhere in between. Via Lyst
Add a little color POP! in rich velvet for a wedding suit jacket that will turn as many heads as any femme ensemble. Image via Dsquared2
Rebelling against the gender binary? Then pair masculine touches with florals. Via Style.com