Feature image by Dark Roux Photography. dapperQ is honored to announce that H&H Weddings will be addressing all of our readers’ nuptial conundrums each week for “Wedding Wednesdays.” H&H Weddings is dedicated to providing lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender couples with high end resources to plan and create a one-of-a-kind event. Kate Schaefer of H&H will be lending her expertise to YOU! It’s like having your own mini-consulting session right here on dapperQ, at no charge! Today, Kate is tackling our first reader question:
Anonymous dapperQ: “My partner and I have been engaged for over 6 years, but have been dreading getting hitched because of our families. Our families are both supportive of our love and sexual orientation, but my side of the family does not know how to behave. No seriously, the cops had to come break up a family dispute at my college graduation, and a few of them were engaged in some illegal activities the last time I went home from my niece’s graduation. I don’t want to subject my partner’s family to this type of behavior, yet, if we have a ceremony, I cannot not invite my family! Ultimately, we decided to elope in Vegas and maybe have our friends meet us out there after for a dance party at a fancy hotel. That said, we don’t want a cheesy Vegas wedding: No Elvis, no drive thru, no reception halls, no puffy dresses. That said, we also want something unique, classy, and memorable. Like, really unique! Any suggestions for a Viva Las Vegas with class?”
Anonymous dapperQ,
It’s true what they say; you can’t pick your family. Emily Post would roll over in her grave, but you absolutely don’t have to invite a single person to your wedding that you don’t want to, family or otherwise. However, from the sounds of it, we’re dealing with passionate people who would not take kindly from being cut out of your nuptials.
There are SO many great ways to elope these days! All you need is an officiant, you can literally get married anywhere. I’ve seen couples get a house in Big Sur and have a tiny ceremony there; I’ve seen mountainside vows with only 3 people present; and I’ve seen stunning Icelandic elopements. It’s up to you and your partner!
Vegas sounds fun, but also sounds exhausting (I sound like I’m 70) and maybe not as intimate/tasteful as you’d like. I’d definitely suggest thinking about how you’d like to spend a weekend with your closest friends. Do you want to party in Vegas, lay on the beach in California or go to a jazz festival in New Orleans? Then, make that happen! Since you’ll be saving loads of money by not having all of the frills of a big ceremony, you can truly live your dream week/weekend with the people who love and support you (sans drama and criminal activity).
Hire a great photographer, get some beautiful florals, have a meaningful ceremony and celebrate!
