dapperQ is a community being convened by a 47-year old, self-identified butch dyke. Although I came honestly by these “cross-dressing” tendencies as a budding cowgirl in Texas, it is only the past year or two in which I have discovered unparalleled passion for reveling in fashion for those like me.
I came by this love honestly. My father was a first-generation Hungarian immigrant who may have failed to finish high school, but who excelled in the world of dapper. For the first half of his life, he sold women’s shoes. In fact, it was on the showroom floor that he met and fell for my wildly stylish mother.
Growing up butch in rural Southwest Texas was no cakewalk. There were no role models with whom I could identify and none who would affirm the early confidence of my swagger. Eventually, I determined that the problem was me. And so I tried to be a “good” girl, I really did. When I couldn’t, it turned to self-hatred. And that turned to addictions that consumed decades of what the poet Mary Oliver calls, “this one wild and precious life.”
Having emerged into my 40’s with passion reserved only for those who have waltzed with death, I am establishing DapperQ to connect with my peerless brethren. Through it I want to meet both those who can inform our journey as well as all those who are looking for the encouragement to grapple with new levels of authenticity.
Let me be clear from the get-go: I am no fashion expert. I’ve had no father or kind uncle willing to guide me in the art of dapper (although my father did give me countless pairs of cufflinks and his father’s pocket watch the year before he died.) While I extract clues from a variety of source like GQ and Details, every option presents its own set of challenges for this woman’s body. Despite the fact that, at 5’10 and 150 pounds, I have an easier time adapting than most.
I live with my incredibly stylish wife Shannon in Park Slope, Brooklyn where dapperQ phenoms pass us daily in the street. I also own a new media company that gives me access to the tools needed to capture our brilliance in new ways. This community is for all those little cowboy boots that will follow in our footsteps…