dapperQ Wedding Guide Needs Your Input

My big fat gay wedding was the best day of my life. Going to Saks Fifth Avenue to find my outfit, however, not so much.

That was four years ago and I while I was able to pull it off with a little luck, my stress about it was off the charts. Since launching dapperQ, I’ve learned that such anxiety is pretty much par for the course if you don’t want to wear a dress for your wedding.

That’s why the first section of the dapperQ Style Guide, now in development, will provide information and links dapperQ’s need to prepare for formal events. Even if you aren’t getting married now, this section will lay groundwork needed to style you through formal weddings you attend and the million and one black tie events hosted by nonprofits seeking out your good looks, charm and mula.

What follows is an overview of how I am approaching the formatting for the guide and a table of contents for the wedding/formal section. I’d be really grateful for your guidance as I walk through this development process. (You can comment here or send comments to [email protected].)

The largest part of the content will be in the form of slide shows (here is an example.) GQ, Esquire, Details and others are using this as a primary format for web-based, style content. They include content, photos and as so often requested from you, links to goods which might accommodate our bodies.

In these slide shows, I’ll try to piece together “get this look!” options from celesbians like Ellen but also a wide array of looks sported by your average, everyday awesome dapperQ’s. Please feel free to send your own formal photos and encourage your dapperQ pals to send theirs. (If I can use it, I’ll get back to you for links to what you are wearing.)

I think the Guide should also include quizzes that help you define what elements of style might work best for you. (For example, are you a bow-tie or a cravat?) My hope is that the formatting might enable you to explore options you otherwise might not.) Is that kind of stuff something you like and might share with others?

What follows is my proposed table of contents. As you will notice, it is focused primarily on fashion options. My assumption is that the emotional terrain surrounding gay weddings is widely covered on existing sites like gayweddings.com, equallywed.com, gayrites.com as well as inclusive sites like Offbeat Bride. I am assuming my time is best spent curating fashion content and trolling the web for suitable options. First off, is that a fair assumption? And in any case, what’s missing for the outline below?

I. Introduction

– Preparing: Who are you dressing? Who should shop with you?
– Negotiating the Emotional Terrain — Tips Gleaned from Fellow Travelers (this will primarily be an overview of good content I assume is available on the topic with dapperQ nuances added as needed)
– Tips from Your Old Pal dapperQ including “How to Get Your Big Fat Gay Wedding Featured in the New York Times”

II. Styling Options

– Tuxes, Suits and Alternatives
– Formal Shirts and Neckwear
– Formal Shoes (since this seems to be the top request of all, am trying to get this section up later this week!)
– Accessories and Vintage Touches

III. Into Action

– Fit and Sizing Section: Translating Boys/Mens/Womens Sizes
– Which shape are you?
– Personal Sizing Chart
– Budgeting (Approaches for Under $500, $500-750 and $750 and Over)
– Renting v. Buying v. Custom
– Shopping On-Line
– Helpful Resources

As I mentioned, first up is formal shoes out later this week if all goes well. Let me know what you think? If you can spread this request for feedback to dapperQ’s far and wide, I’d be most grateful. Til soon…

This photo, by Robert Pavone, is of me and Shannon jumping the broom in Greenport, Long Island on July 29, 2007.

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  • My big problem is with shoes that are also vegetarian. Maybe there’s enough overlap for it to be worth covering?

  • You’re always bring up interesting points! I’ve been a vegetarian for the past two years but haven’t really grappled with this area. Jeez, I love my wingtips. Let me put this regularly on my radar as I develop shoe options…

  • Thanks for the shout out, DapperQ! Another element I’d love to see is how the bridegroom’s style can compliment that of her partner. For most weddings, you have the challenge of dressing for 1 (and for multiple events), but then must also dress as a set. Looking forward to supporting you in this endeavor!

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