A Very Dapper Wedding: Tonetta & Bukola

dapperQ knows how difficult planning a wedding can be for most people, not to mention the added stress when the wedding does not fit heteronormative standards. On top of everything else we have to face – all of the hurdles we have to overcome – we also have to find wedding attire that fits our gender identities in a society where the fashion industry does not address our our unique needs and is, in many instances, quite hostile to us. So, it is inspiring when our readers share their wedding style and love stories to help empower fellow dapperQs. Today, we’re featuring the dapper wedding of Tonetta and Bukola, whose wedding day attire stayed stylish and held up even in piles of snow. Tonetta talks more about their special day.

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Tonetta (left) and Bukola (right)
Our Story: Bukola initially contacted me through OK Cupid, but due to my own special brand of business, I failed to respond to her expressed interest. Later that same week, we accidentally met in person at a meetup I had started for queer Christian women. After beginning slowly as friends and dating for a short time, we entered a courtship in the winter of 2012. I was to discover that we are startlingly different. She is a high powered attorney and I spend my days teaching teenagers literature and writing. She is bright skittles and I am warm tea and meeting her has been the unexpected privilege of my life. I proposed in the fall of the next year by surprising her with a treasure hunt followed by a crowd of friends and family waiting outside her home with signs that depicted each milestone in our relationship.


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Our Wedding: We had a rustic winter wedding weekend at Full Moon Resort in the Catskill Mountains followed by a brunch reception and a day of snow tubing. We then ended the day with a candlelit formal dinner and toasts by our closest friends. Oh, and there was a bumpin’ after-party if we do say so ourselves.


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Our Clothing: I am quite traditional and Bukola is anything but that. I decided to marry our styles by wearing a traditional black suit made by Bar III with an extra slim cut. I then had the suit tailored by Cheryl Lofton and Associates and paired it with a white shirt custom made by Cheryl, a white vest from Vesuvio Napoli, and a paisley bow tie from The Tie Bar in order to add the touch of whimsy I knew Bukola would love. Because we were in the mountains I alternated, between Rockport oxfords from the women’s line and Columbia snow boots for our outdoor photos.

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Bukola chose a $200.00 clearance rack find by Oleg Cassini (altered by Cheryl’s wedding dress specialist) and also alternated between Columbia snow boots and a pair of tried and true gray boots which she has owned for years. For kicks, she also created a matching snow tubing ensemble to continue our cobalt and sunshine color scheme. For our evening dinner, we wore matching Nigerian outfits that we had made to honor my beloved’s roots and during the ceremony our wedding party wore outfits we had made using the same fabric.

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