Oh Facebook. Just when I think I’m about to deactivate my account, I see something incredibly dapperQ that draws me back in. Take for instance the wedding photos of Amber and Katherine Abbott I recently stumbled upon. My fiancé’s best friend had gone to their wedding in Sac Town, was tagged in a Facebook wedding album posted by an acquaintance, and voilà…the most adorable and inspiring images of a dapper couple, their dapper wedding party, and their dapper guests on their special wedding day appeared in my news feed. So, I contacted the Abbotts and asked them to share with you all a bit about their love story and their amazing engagement and wedding style.
I’m Katherine Abbott (a.k.a., Katie Abbott pictured in center on right), a 31 year-old (32 in October) Student Advisor for low income students at Folsom Lake College. My job can be rough because of my sexual orientation and the way I express gender through fashion. Sometimes I feel like people do not take me seriously because I dress like a “boy.” The way that I dress is still very professional, but I am not always perceived that way because I am a woman wearing men’s clothes. I am a highly educated woman with a BA in Sociology and have been working in the college system for more than 8 years. I am here to help people with hardships and setbacks finish school; that is what I focus on!
My wife, Amber Danel, now Amber Abbott, is a 31 year-old hairdresser who specializes in cuts and color at Maverique Style House in Sacramento, CA. I’m lucky because she cuts and colors my hair all the time. Prior to working as a hairdresser, Amber worked for Norwegian cruise lines for about a year, during which point she traveled primarily to the Hawaiian Islands. She was born in Sacramento, CA and grew up in Rocklin, CA. After high school, she moved to Fair Oaks, CA.
How We Met
Amber and I had both just come out of long term relationships and were newly single women in our late 20’s, which we all know is not fun. In Sacramento, CA, everyone is in a long-term relationship, or they are very young and new to the scene. With that in mind, a mutual friend of ours had mentioned to me that she knew of someone who may be a perfect match. I was excited and told her to tell Amber to come out. We all went out to a bar called Depot in the gay district of Sacramento and in walked Amber. I was blown away by her beauty and thought to myself, “This girl is too beautiful for me. She won’t like me.” I say that because my style is completely different than hers. By the end of the night, Amber and I were drawn to one another and have yet to leave each other’s side. She is the love of my life and I decided to ask Amber to marry me on Thanksgiving in Rhode Island at my sister’s house on Nov 22, 2011. Amber said yes and we set our wedding date for August 26, 2012 shortly thereafter.
Amber and I decided wear two different outfits for the engagement photos: a more mod/dark look and then a summer/beach look:
Amber’s outfit #1: Speechless black and white striped dress from Ross Dress for Less. Vintage Worn Rocket Dog boots.
Katie’s outfit #1: Black men’s skinny jeans from Tilly’s. White button-down shirt. Men’s black jacket from Forever 21. Men’s black boots from Macy’s.
Amber’s outfit #2: Red Love.Fire dress from Nordstrom. Dv Dolce Vita booties from Marshalls.
Katie’s outfit #2: Tan men’s pants from Forever 21. Blue button-down men’s shirt from Forever 21. Men’s sandals from Ross.
Amber searched on Pinterest for wedding dress ideas. Once she had some inspiration, she, her mom, and her sister went to David’s Bridal to try on dresses. As soon as Amber slipped on her Oleg Cassini dress, she knew it was the one and started crying! The off-white dress was originally $1200, but she got it for $1000. Her pink sash was $40 and she purchased her Caparros shoes for $80 at Macy’s. She found her bridal undergarments at Victoria’s Secret.
Amber’s experience at David’s bridal was so-so. The sales representatives asked who her groom was a dozen times. She just kept saying, “No it’s a girl.” She is very comfortable in her sexuality and was able to deal with the situation. But, others who aren’t as confident may have been discouraged, stressed, or uncomfortable.
My experience was very different than Amber’s. I am more of a stud than a femme; My style of dress is nothing like Amber’s. However, I love fashion, especially men’s fashion.
I also looked on Pinterest for outfit inspiration. I fell in love with the outfit that Ellen DeGeneres wore at her wedding and I wanted something kind of like that. However, I am a bigger woman and trying to find something that would fit my breasts was a struggle. I started by looking at women’s suits because I thought that they may fit my breasts better, but I really did not want to wear a woman’s suit; it isn’t my style nor do I feel comfortable in them. I thought the suits looked horrible on me.
My next stop was the men’s departments at Macy’s and Nordstroms. The help there was so, so much better at Macy’s than at Nordstroms. The suits at Macy’s were beautiful and exactly what I was looking for, but of course they did not fit right. The pants fit wrong: They were skinny legged (which I usually get), but didn’t fit because I have hips. And, the jackets would not fit because of my breasts. Macy’s could not order the correct size in time nor could they get it tailored in time. I started to panic and then realized I just needed to go to Men’s Warehouse.
When I got there, I was a little nervous because all of the patrons were men and they were all staring at me. However, I made it fun! I worked with a woman there who had been doing this for years and she told me that I needed a much larger jacket size than I thought because of my breasts, which meant I needed my suit tailored to fit me. I actually had to get it tailored twice. They were able to tailor the suit to fit my curves and my hips. It turned out great and it was inexpensive. My suit was a Pronto Uomo Signature Suit Grey. I also wore a white button-down suit shirt and rented a pink vest from them. My shoes were white leather Converse. In total, my suit cost $380, my vest cost $25 to rent, my shoes were $50, and my shirt was $60.