Welcome back to Hi Femme!, dapperQ’s sibling visibility project celebrating the incredible contributions that stylish femmes make to queer fashion. This edition, we’re featuring Trisha Marie, a queer femme blogger in her 30’s who is from South Jersey and has lived in Brooklyn, NY for a little over three years. She studied psychology in undergrad and worked in social services for several years. She then went to law school to put herself in a better position to help people. Besides wanting to advocate for others, she has always been interested in fashion and have always loved to write. She started her blog – The Glam Femme-inist – a year and a half ago so that she could combine all of her interests. Her blog is a lifestyle blog from a Black queer femme perspective. In it, she covers a variety of topics, including music, literature, art, beauty and fashion, as well as social justice issues.
Hi Femme!: Can you talk a bit about how you define queer femme style and what makes it transgressive?
Trisha: Having a femme identity allows me to be more aware of how what I’m wearing makes people perceive me. When I pick out my clothes, I like to defy expectations, just as I do with my personality. I’m a pretty reserved person except when I’m passionate about something and sometimes that surprises people. In the same way, although I dress generally feminine, I like to add a hard edge to show that femme can mean strength too. Also, I know that because of the way I dress many people would not guess that I am queer and that invisibility used to bother me. But I’ve come to realize that my identity is personal and it doesn’t matter what others think of it. As a queer femme, getting dressed every day is an act that reminds me that femininity (and gender in general) can be expressed in different ways that are unique to each person and that our expressions should be respected, even if they are not fully understood.
Queer femme style is extremely transgressive because it is hard to define or put in a box. Femme style doesn’t necessarily mean pink with ruffles or a lacy dress and heels, although it can. Instead, femme style is indicative of the fight that anyone who has ever been called different has had to struggle with. Our differences are often used to divide us or seen as reason to make us feel inferior. But queer femme style transcends feminine or masculine, it is what you make it. It doesn’t matter what your race, class, gender, religion, or orientation is, you can be femme, fashionable, and proud.
Hi Femme!: How would you describe your personal style?
Trisha: Throughout most of my adult life, I’ve spent a lot of time in professional settings and wasn’t able to express myself creatively through my style, except on the weekends. But as I’ve been making the transition out of the corporate world, I’ve been able to put more time into exploring my style. I would describe my personal style as trendy, street style. I love street style but sometimes it’s not practical for everyday wear. So I have a lot of fun mixing popular trends with less commercial styles you can find on the street.
Hi Femme!: Who are your fashion icon(s)?
Trisha: I love Rihanna’s style because it’s reflective of how she lives her life. She does what she wants and is true to herself. She takes risks with her fashion choices that not many people would take and immediately turns it into the next big thing. She inspires people to be themselves, no matter what. I aspire to have that same attitude and take more risks in life and in the way I dress.
I absolutely adore blogger Sunita V’s style. Just about everything I see on her blog is right up my alley. She takes trends and makes them her own by infusing her personal style into the look. I like to think that I do the same thing when I get dressed and hope that one day I can have the influence that she has.
Hi Femme!: What item in your style arsenal can you not live without?
Trisha: Besides my favorite lip gloss, I probably couldn’t live without a good denim shirt. You can wear it in any season, it can be layered with different looks, and can be dressed up or down. Most importantly, it will never go out of style.